My First Disaster

"If she's the teacher, why can't you just let her teach?"

This was the response I got from one student when I came in front of a class for the first time that I had never taught in front of before, and it nearly broke my heart. I didn't skip a beat, and I didn't figure his inquiry was worthy of response, but what he said affected me inside though I tried not to show it outside.

Due to a half day, the students' schedule was reordered making 4th, 5th, 6th classes the first classes of the day. I had never taught this class before. I didn't know the names of these students. I didn't know their attitudes, interests, or needs as learners. I didn't know that an outright rebellion was on my hands. And we had a sub. Again. AND it was Friday. In sum, I had the recipe for a disaster and chaos ensued.

The mini-lesson that went so well the day before flopped. I didn't even dare play a game with the students because of their grave misbehavior. I couldn't keep them quite, or focused, or on task. I couldn't make them listen or do their work. I could get them to answer questions or listen to each other during the off-chances when someone spoke. Every minute of this one particular class period dragged on, dragging me along with it.

In my CT's words, I was eaten alive. I had the 'sub feeling' and the 'Friday feeling' all bundled into one nightmarish day.

I tried my very best to be firm, but not harsh, and consistent, but not unrelenting. I laid out the rules just like I had with the sub before, but they would not listen. I handed out warnings and threatened to take away their points for the day, but they did not care. I tried every technique in my Classroom Management Repertoire, but my four weeks experience on the topic was not quite enough in this situation. I fought every minute for the students' attention, and when I could not get it, I got going on their assignment with the students I could and talked to each other student individually to encourage them to get to work. Eventually, we got through the two sided worksheet after the entire class period, but it was a struggle. The whole class was a struggle.

At the end, I led a reflection over the morning's events and the kids admitted, in their own words, that they needed to improve listening, following the golden rule, respect, being polite, not using put-downs, acting responsibly, and not interrupting. I agreed with them whole-heartedly. I had to list 11 students' names for my CT for misbehavior, but I listed 12 for not contributing to the chaos. A third of the class behaved, a third did not, and the other third was along for the ride of the day. To somewhat resolve the issue of the day I strongly suggested the students get a new seating chart and a stern review of classroom behaviors with the Vice Principal whole 6 foot tall, 200 pound frame my reinforce the rules better than I did.

The sub said she felt I held my own well and that the students were simply pushing me to see how far they could go until I broke. Well, I didn't break. I stayed as calm as I could manage and never raised my voice. If I could do it again (which I would not readily do) I would be firmer. I would be stricter. I would better enforce the classroom rules and convince the kids to take me seriously. As it was, I learned. I learned about myself, my style, and a weakness I have for not wishing to dish out consequences on my students. I have to remember that not every student will ever like me every minute and maybe helping them stay true to rules and regulations today by holding up my end of classroom discipline I am doing them a favor in the long run.



Highlight of the Day:

Debriefing the disaster with the sub who offered me priceless advice for next time, though I hope next time is far off. Her advice was to be firm, stay firm, and don't waiver on discipline. She said by being firm up front, you avoid retaliation in the long run. She suggested that when doing group work, to partner students up myself to avoid friends distracting each other from their assignments. She also said to always have a Plan B (and C) in case Plan A busts.  Most importantly though, she said don't give up. For every day like this there are so many more that go so much better and they make days like this worth fighting through.